Leaf Thirty-one: Defining Our Decade

Lately, I have been slacking on my blog writing. Fifty-two leaves and wholehearted living have been constantly on my mind, but I have not given myself the time to sit down and write. Writing for me, like exercise, is one my greatest releases. I love being able to put my passion about what is going on into words. As I reflect on the past couple weeks, I realize how much I have missed taking the time each week to write about the way I have lived wholeheartedly. Writing about my leaves has become a part of my wellbeing. It holds me accountable for my goals, inspires me, and fuels my heart for the next week. Tonight, after a long day at work, I knew I needed to devote time entirely to me. I couldn’t think of anything better than to share another amazing leaf.

 

A few weeks ago, I started a book called “The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of them Now”, by Meg Jay. While I have one section left to finish in the book, it of course, like most of the reading I do, has inspired me. The author is a clinical psychologist who speaks from her experiences working with twenty-somethings as well as thirty-somethings, forty-somethings, etc. She captures the essence of profound decade of our lives, our twenties.  The message is about what it means to thrive during our twenties so we do not have to play catch up in our thirties and forties. As I conclude my final year of graduate school, the book has helped me gain a stronger perspective on where I am right now. I am not reading and feeling discouraged about my twenties. More like identifying progress, recognizing areas for potential growth, and embracing new information. One of my favorite things about the book so far is that the author has motivated me to think about the aspects of my future that have not necessarily been a part of my education. No one tells us what life is going to be like after college, no one talks about the transition from being a student to working 9-5, no one tells us how to find a partner to spend the rest of our life with. It’s overwhelming. After I started the book, I recommended it to all my girlfriends because the information is incredibly rich to our decade. It talks about the things that no one else does.

 

As I think about defining my decade, I cannot help but reflect on the people who I began the journey of my twenties with. Over the past weekend, my two roommates from college, Mags and Melo, came to San Diego for a reunion get together. Our fourth partner in crime, Lex, was greatly missed. She could not make it for the weekend, but I know we all kept her spirit in our heart. Since we graduated in 2010, we have not been able to plan something where we were all in the same place, so this weekend was incredibly special and one I will cherish for the rest of my life. What these women mean to me is often beyond words. We spent four pivotal years learning and growing together during some of the most precious moments we will experience in our lifetime. There will never be anything comparable to my college experience, where these women set the foundation for my wholehearted life and shaped me into the person I am today.

 

It was powerful to see how Mags and Melo have defined their twenties over the past couple years. They shared stories over the weekend that spoke so much truth to what it means to figure out who we are. I felt proud of them, thankful for their courage and inspiration. I felt blessed to be able to meet them in the moment, to share my growth and to feel their support and love. I have difficulty putting into words the power of our weekend together. We knew each other on the some of the deepest levels in college. To see the way we the four of has have evolved and grown, while maintaining that same spirit from college is amazing. I feel blessed for each of their friendships, for the gifts they have given me about what it means to live and love with our whole hearts.

 

This weekend we relit the fire that connects us all. The one of a kind friendship that has persevered through the ups and downs of the past six years. I think that’s how you know something is real, when no matter how long you are apart, the moment you reconnect it is as if nothing has ever changed. As I move forward in my life, as I define this decade, I know it will be supported by incredible women. Thank you to Mags, Melo, and Lex for bringing so much beauty into my life, I love you all so much.

Leaf Thirty: Bar Method

A couple of weeks ago, I took advantage of trying something new for my leaf of the week. Several months back my girlfriend Cookie told me about this new exercise phenomenon called “Bar Method”. She raved about how much she enjoyed the class and the incredible fitness results. I kept saying I would eventually try it, but like a lot of things, it got pushed to the back of my busy schedule. It seemed only fitting that as I transition into the next phase of my life that I add something to ease with the nerves. Exercise is my biggest stress reliever…I am always trying new things and love to push myself to the next limit. After my first at the new job today, the beauty of this new leaf was extremely apparent. I was exhausted when I got there at 5:30pm, but felt rejuvenated afterwards. That despite a hectic day, everything was going to be okay. I love that feeling.

The bar method offers a $10 for 10 days challenge thingy...I made it 9/10 days and let’s just say I’m hooked. It’s difficult to explain what the class exactly entails, as I am still trying to wrap my head around how small, focused movements and breathing can be quite the cardiovascular workout. The class lasts an hour, with an instructor that is incredibly helpful. It consists of a variety of different movements, some with weights, some on a ballet bar, some on a mat…lots of “tucking your seat” moments. I love the environment and mental focus. When class is over, I always feel refreshed and ready to take on the whatever is next. The results are quite incredible too. Never before have I felt my strength increase so quickly. I literally feel longer and leaner. I highly recommend taking the 10 day challenge if there is a studio near you. It is fun, energizing, and offers a mixed level class that seems to fit most everyone. Bar method has been one of my favorite leaves of the year and I look forward to adding it to my schedule daily!! 

Below is the link for anyone who is interested in learning more about it:

http://www.barmethod.com/

Leaf Twenty-nine: Beautiful Connections

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship”

 –Dr. Brené Brown

Throughout the last few years as well as a couple past relationships, I have begun to define the qualities I look for in significant other, and one thing I have continually kept close to my heart is the desire that I have to be with someone who makes me want to be a better person. I believe that unconditional love is possible as we find another person who brings out our best self and also allows us to return that same favor. What I am searching for is someone who provokes a yearning within me for continued growth both individually and together. Dallas has without a doubt lit something unfamiliar, yet incredibly enticing within me. Never before have I felt more compelled or more driven to search for something bigger than myself. He has a depth to him that is extremely rare, with an inviting soul and a kinder heart than anyone I have ever met before. The more I get to know him, the more goodness I discover. This summer, while completely unexpected, has made me feel more alive than I could have ever imagined. My growing feelings for Dallas, along with many exciting memories so far and of course more to come, inspired my leaf this week on beautiful connections and what it means to truly share moments with great people.

This past weekend, I traveled to Dallas’s hometown in the Fresno area to spend time with his family. I met his mom and sister a few weeks ago, so I was especially looking forward to getting to know them more. Since Dallas has truly captivated me in many profound ways these past couple of months, it has been a pleasure to see where he came from. I very much enjoy his mom, Anna, and sister, Lyric. They opened their arms to me and from the moment I met them, I felt the love they all had for each other. Like I said a couple weeks ago, I am thankful to have been able to feel that kind of love and was ever so blessed to get to experience it again over the weekend. I also got to meet Dallas’s grandma, two aunts, uncle, and several younger cousins, each leaving such a special imprint on my heart. Time was spent enjoying one another’s company, going to a water-park, wrestling with the little boys, and judging the fish taco cooking throw-down between Dallas and his Uncle.

Since I began my personal journey to a wholehearted life, I have been blessed to encounter and feel the presence of so many remarkable people around me. This weekend was no different as I felt incredibly comfortable and moved by the graciousness of Dallas’s family. Their love for one other powerfully reflects the endurance and strength that is created under that capacity. My leaf this week is about embracing others through opening myself to those around me. Yes, I was nervous to meet Dallas’s family, but the nerves are not triggering anxiety anymore, rather a yearning to understand and practice self-compassion. I valued authenticity over everything else and opened myself up to the beautiful connections of a wonderful family.