Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Leaf Thirty-nine, Forty, and Forty-one: Searching for the moments, Fighting On, and What really matters…


So life has been incredibly busy over the last month, but nonetheless, fifty-two leaves has been on my mind. Although I never had time to sit down and write my individual leaves, I made sure to devote each of the passing weeks to something directed towards my wholehearted life. Here is a rundown of what has been going on…

 

Leaf Thirty-Nine: Searching for the moments

On the first Friday of October, my high school had a school wide BBQ to celebrate 98% attendance for the month of September. Students were excused for 5th and 6th period to join together for hot dogs, music, games and mostly fun. It was exciting to see the enthusiasm of the kids to be able to celebrate their hard work together. Throughout the party, I kept thinking “how cool is this” that everyone is gathering together, taking a second to value the moment rather than being stressed out over “what needs to get done”. It was without a doubt what I have come to label a “wholehearted moment”, where everyone engaged together in the simple treasures of life. At one point, some of the students had the opportunity to sing in front of their peers.  The courage of the students to share their talent with the rest of the school was especially moving. I watched as the entire crowd quieted to support and cheer on their peers who sang for them. I remember feeling completely enthralled in the moment, to see the entire school connect over one person’s voice was genuine and valuable.

 

After the BBQ, I made a goal to search out more moments like the one I experienced at my school. Sometimes all it takes is taking a second to look around and embrace the gifts of life that are constantly surrounding us. It is so easy to become caught up with work, responsibilities, and stress that they can develop into a “normal routine”. I felt myself falling in that direction. The inspiration from the students triggered one of the necessities of a whole hearted life…breaking out of the routines…one of the main things that initially instigated my desire to start this blog. While my routine keeps me organized and feeling capable, it also can be dangerous and exhausting at times. By devoting a leaf to searching out of the moments, I have been more inclined to break out of my routine in even small, simple ways. I have stopped to breath, read a chapter out of my favorite book, watch the sunset, and even taking an afternoon nap. The moments of life are all around us, we just have to be willing to stop and take a look.

 

Leaf Forty: Fighting On

A couple of weeks ago, I went to my first USC football game. Actually, it was my first ever competitive football game so naturally it had to be a new leaf. Dallas’s mom (Anna) went to USC and the tradition has been passed down to both Dallas and his sister (Lyric). They are very big USC fans and included me in festivities for the USC vs. Colorado game. It was a memorable, exciting experience and one that definitely falls under my previous leaf of searching out the moments. There was something about tailgating on USC’s campus, surrounded by fans, covered in red and gold that created quite the unforgettable environment. I think I am a sucker for any type of connection. I love watching people, who don’t even know one thing about one other, connect through something bigger than themselves. It was very fun to watch and be part of this sensation during the USC game. I loved seeing the crowd light up after a touchdown and the high fives from the stranger sitting behind me. I am so thankful to Anna for including me in such a fun family event. They have truly opened their arms to me and made me feel so comfortable. It is rare to find such people, who embrace you, get you, and want you to be in their lives, it has been such a great feeling. For it, I am deeply grateful and so happy and looking forward to the next time I get to fight on!

 
 

Leaf Forty-one: What really matters…

Like I said earlier, the past month has been very busy. From work, to family stuff, to traveling, to more family stuff, it seems that the chaos may never end. I have kept moving because of the faith I have in myself and the invaluable support system around me. As life gets busy and stressful, and especially since I started to work fulltime, I have began identify the things that are truly important in my life. This includes the people that are really important. One challenge I have taken upon myself during my journey to a wholehearted life is that of setting boundaries and holding other people accountable. Part of this, has been about letting go of not being able to be what everyone else needs. I do feel less close to some, but I also feel closer to what really matters, like my family, my boyfriend, and my friends that truly love me for me.

 

With the increased amount of things occurring, I have come to really realize that I do not have time for unnecessary drama. In the past I have become consumed with letting someone down or not being good enough. Lately, I felt that same pull happening, but the difference is that I am aware of my triggers and able to quickly catch myself from spiraling down to perfectionism.  I know I cannot be “perfect” for everyone and I combat it by figuring out who and what really matters…which has been incredibly freeing. Because the fact is, I know I’m enough. I know I am a good daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, therapist, co-worker, teacher, etc. When I let the judgments of someone else get to me, I lose the strength that I know I have.

 

We cannot please everyone. When we’re working fulltime, maintaining our own sanity, and keeping those that are important close, someone else my feel displeased or disappointed. They may choose to treat us poorly or cut us out completely. It hurts, but at the end of the day, it’s about deciphering what really matters, who really loves us, and believing we are enough right now.  One of the greatest things I have learned from Dr. BrenĂ© Brown and a wholehearted life is being able to say “I am worthy right now”. We all are. We all deserve it.

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