Leaf Seventeen & Eighteen: Let it Be

"There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be"

Last week, I hit a wall. It had been building for a while now, but I kept pushing through thinking I could by without dealing with what was going on. Since I started my wholehearted journey, I have been working through parts of myself and my story that often leave me feeling pretty raw. Although there is incredible value in exploring ourselves, it also can be extremely exhausting. I was definitely finding ways to subtly numb whatever what was being brought up. Well numbness eventually wears off. And after pushing myself too far…I had what I like to call one of my emotional breakdowns. This time, I knew I needed support.

Reaching out to my girlfriends was more than I could have ever asked for. It really demonstrated the power of connection and how important it is to ask for help. Dr. Brown discusses in her book seeking out people who can give you what you need on a deeper, genuine level. Friends who can sit with you comfortably in the moment, share with you, and let you know it is going to be okay. One of my greatest blessings in San Diego are the girls that I have joined with me on my journey in graduate school as well as development into a therapist. It is difficult for those on the outside to understand the dynamics of this program and the emotional roller coaster that tends to follow. Allison, Cookie, and Lily get it and most importantly they get me.  We have shared an experience together unlike any other and I will cherish our growth forever. My leaf for the past two weeks is “Let It Be” because it represents the place these three incredible women have helped, supported, and inspired me to get too.

There are days when I want to push the stop button on living wholeheartedly. Striving for perfectionism functioned worked in my life for so long. It is easier to try to not to be perfect than loving myself. The problem is, once I began the journey to letting go, there was no turning back. And even though the rawness can be difficult to deal with, there is no doubt in my mind that I am having an incredible, long lasting impact on where I want to go in my life. Last Monday, Allison shared a talk from the Oprah show discussing the importance of paying attention to the whispers that life speaks to us. The idea is that we typically get a gut feeling when something is off. This is a whisper, and if we continue to ignore it, it will get louder and louder, until a brick wall is crashing down on our head.

One little quote changed my week. Allison met me in the moment and gave me the inspiration to get going. Walls are inevitable. Shit happens and always will. It is about paying attention to what we might be ignoring in our life. Then it is about how we deal with it. For me, connecting with others has been and always will be my saving grace. There is nothing more valuable than spending time with friends who allow everything to just be. Who give us words of wisdom that let us know hope is not lost and that together we can make it. Thank you Al, Cook, and Lil for all you do. I love you more than anything!