Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Leaf Twenty-two: Cookie Loving


One of the most incredible things about living wholeheartedly is being able to love wholeheartedly, not only myself, but those around me. My leaf this week is multifaceted in a number of ways. First, it is of deep gratitude to an amazing woman that has touched my life is so many wonderful aspects. My beautiful, inspiring, silly friend Cookie left last Thursday to move back home. It was an emotional, heart-wrenching day as I knew my days would no longer be brightened by her one of a kind presence. I was very sad to let her go, but overwhelmed with a feeling of thankfulness to have shared the last two years with her. Honestly, there are not enough words to describe the beauty of this woman. She brings something that is so special no one will ever be able to walk in her shoes.  Cookie taught me how to love myself in the best kind of way. Mostly, Cookie taught me how to be ridiculously silly. She demonstrated the importance of embracing the laughter of the moment and letting go of the world around us. She gave me a freedom to express myself exactly how I am. There was never a day when I had to be anyone else but me for her and I hope she knows how much that meant to me.  Cookie, I look up to your ability to connect with anyone in the room, your genuineness, and love of life that captivates those around you in a powerful way. Although I miss you so much, your spirit lingers with me daily and I cannot wait for your visit to San Diego!!!



Each week, I find myself thinking so much about connection and the healing power sharing with others has in our life. Cookie loving also represents the deepest kind of connection and growth. Besides Cookie, Al, and Lil, it is really difficult for the outside world to understand the underpinnings of our Master’s program and the journey to becoming a therapist. It is an extremely introspective, difficult, life-changing process that often leaves you feeling especially raw. The rawness provokes emotions that are hard to deal with alone. I know I speak for all three of us girls when I say, the bond and connection we have within this program has helped us battle many demons. In the beginning of seeing clients, we would meet at Cookie’s and Al’s house to debrief at the end of the week. One night as we were all sharing some of the struggles that had occurred during the past week, Cookie grabbed her evil eye off the wall and suggested we put our bad thoughts, feelings, etc. into it, as a means to let it go and leave it behind. So each of us passed the evil eye around, said what we needed to, and let it be. Later down the road, for Christmas, Al bought us all evil eye necklaces to wear to remind us to let it go. I will never forget this ritual because I believe it connected us each in a deeper way. We shared our vulnerabilities, insecurities, and love for one another in those moments, which I know paved the way for where we are today. Not only have each of these woman helped me recognize my own worth; they have shaped my ability to love with my whole-heart. 





 This week my heart is full as I close a glorious chapter in my life and open the next. Cookie, loving and sharing with you has enriched my life is so many ways. I love that our journey together never ends. What you, Allison, Lily and I have shared is something that will connect us forever, for that I am deeply grateful!

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